Here Are 10 Zany Predictions for Borderlands 3 That May Just Come True
Welcome back to the Pandora thinktank, Kiddies
With Battleborn in the works, the Borderlands series is going to have a little down time. That’s not to say that thought isn’t going into what could be in the game, but what sort of thigns would fans want to see? We’ve seen a decent amount of Pandora so far, and even went back in time, so what else can be added to the series to keep the excitement going?
Well, as it so happens, I have some fun ideas that I feel the series has not done yet, but would make the game more exciting and packed with insanely good times.
1. Perhaps They Decide to Turn up the Funny Factor
Not that we need more laughs in the game, but hey, who doesn't want to fight a clown?
In this wonderland of post-apocalypse and wacky characters, I’m surprised that there have been no clowns as of yet. Surely someone has decided to pull a Joker-esque move and smear on some face paint and laugh in the face of disparity.
Maybe we have sort of dark carnival set up in the middle of nowhere where you have a creepy cult of killer clowns (try saying that five times fast) kidnapping people and carving smiles in their faces. What would make that even more eerie is if, instead of screaming as they get shot, they laugh at their pain. Gearbox could make these clowns as absurd as they want and, since that is a clown’s nature, they can’t go wrong.
2. Maybe We'll Get To See a Familiar Face or Two
Who doesn't love a good cameo by a favorite actor/actress?
With so many memorable characters already in the series, why not throw in some famous celebrities to join the party? There are plenty of people who would fit right in this environment. You could stick in the proclaimed “crazy people”, a.k.a Mel Gibson and Jack Nicholson, or maybe someone really muscular like The Rock or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Personally, I like the idea of fighting Ozzy Osbourne, who turns into a half-man, half-bat monster when he bites off a bat’s head and drinks its blood.
So long as they got something catchy to say, and even if it’s a cameo, there could be such joy to be had with a few recognizable people we know from the real world.
3. The Vehicles and Vehicular Combat Might get an Update
I'm just not feeling the insanity here.
Now the vehicles in Borderlands are always fun, but there seem to be limitations on the craziness that can be had with them. Driving around in a truck or car with an option of rocket launcher or machine gun doesn’t really get the adrenaline going, even if the fights between them can sometimes to a nail biter.
Some early ideas I have would be the “Fireworks Engine”, or a flat-bed with loads of fireworks to be fired out and explode in a variety of colors in the air. Taking a page from the latest Mad Max movie, maybe you would have to go up a vehicle like the War Rig, and have Psycho Midgets flinging grenades and hatchets over at you.
Also, what if we gave the options for both players and enemies, who are not driving, to be able to fire their weapons at each other. That would make “safe, controlled” driving impossible to do. Ride hard and live crazy Psychos.
4. You + Your teammates +A big bunch of guys who want to kill you
I like these odds. You should too.
This has been in other games, and given the already co-optitude atmosphere of Borderlands, not to mention they have this on a much reduced scale with certain side-quests, Borderlands should have a horde-mode.
Here’s the set-up, the mode portrays the players as the fresh meat for Pandora’s latest attraction: The Super Duper O.K-Corral Slaughterdome. It’s them against waves of Bandits, Psychos, Bruisers, Goliaths, something newer and bigger than a Goliath and, heck, let’s see if we can’t get some Sirens to fight against the players. Always wanted to fight them.
And here’s how the deal is sealed. We have Tiny Tina and Claptrap commentate the entire match.
5. Could We Finally Get the Chance to Transcend Mortal Foes?
Mad Scientists and World dominators are so last millenium. Let’s go take on a Pantheon.
So we’ve had to fight a lot of bad men and women, not to mention the occasional A.I, so Gearbox needs to take it a step further. What’s next, you may ask? Gods. Pantheons. Religion. I remember my first time going up against the Rakk Beast and just being in awe of the sheer size of my opponent. I want to feel that again, and the only thing to match it in size would be some sort of ethereal being.
I pitch this to you: after wading through hundreds of zealous of some religious cult, and maybe a few beings that serve as guardians to the deity or maybe some demigods, it’s time for the final boss battle. But it won’t be just you fighting this God, it’ll be you and a hundred other people in vehicles, zipping around the feet of your gigantic foe. Throughout the battle, you’ll see your NPC comrades being tossed around as the deity fights back, either smashing his hand against the ground or throwing some sort of energy blasts. Throw in a rocking soundtrack worthy of a battle of this scale and you got yourselves a battle to remember and tell tales of to your friends.
Thinking on that, I think I just suggested a combination of Mad Max and Clash of the Titans, and I am 100% ok with that vision becoming reality.
6. Will Our Characters get the Chance to Have a Personality?
How about we start giving them catchphrases?
When I was playing the first Borderlands as Lillith, I had her focused in fire-based damage and called her “Angel of Ash”, nothing got my inner psycho quite like hearing her laugh and going “I’m really good at this.” The thing was, it was always random what my character said. I really would enjoy being able to deliver a final insult to all the injury I do to my foes with some catch phrase that I’d be able to state at any time I wanted. You could have a few options to pick from when you’re creating your character, maybe even get the option to pick up some along the way.
These catchphrases could be fun to use outside of battle too. There could be phrases for mocking something if they goofed, complaining about someone who just keeps getting knocked out, and maybe even to mock your teammates for being too slow to get some rare guns and upgrades.
7. I'd Like to See Arena Combat Taken to The Next Level
Did that good for nothing teammate kill steal you again? Maybe you two need to step into the Smash’em-Thrash-em Arena and settle this with good old Mechanical robot fisticuffs.
Sometimes you just can’t stand the people you have to work with when saving the world. Maybe they took some really good weapon that you really wanted. Perhaps someone was just so clueless of you needing aid and they let you die. Maybe they just aren’t a good person to work with. Do you have a need to settle your differences that a simple duel won’t fix?
This is what the Smash’em-Thrash’em arena will be for. You and the source of your anger will suit up in giant mechanized armor and just throw down until someone gets knocked down. Nothing says anger management like a good old session of free-form Rock’em-Sock’em Robots. And also a crowd of cheering fans chanting the character’s original name can’t hurt either.
8. It's about Time We Made Sheriff
With all this world-saving going on, people should really start being deputized.
So you’ve save the world a couple times now. By this time, the people of Pandora see a need to keep the looting, shooting and eviscerating at a manageable level. So your characters will be deputized and tasked with maintain the laws, like you can’t devour your opponent immediately after killing them, because that’s just rude. The guy just lost his dignity and respect in this gun battle and now that butt munch is trying to take his organs from him right off the bat. It’s up to people like you to stop this insensitivity.
This could bring an interesting set of side-quests where you are tasked with helping establish “justice” and going off to solve all sort of problems and disputes that would only happen in a place like Pandora.
9. Replacing Claptrap with a More Motivating Character
He's the voice of reason for a new generation of Vault Hunters.
With his motivating video being shared all across our planet, Shia Laboeuf seems to be the type of motivational coach that the next generation of Pandoran heroes need to keep them going.
Did you just fail on what seems like an easy fight? Can you not figure out how to do a quest? Is your teammate taking all the best weapons? No worries player, Shia Laboeuf believes in you. He will coach you until you can believe in yourself again. He will then give you tips to take your revenge out on your teammate. Shia-surprise!!
10. We Could See a Change in the Age Department
I'm not talking about Borderlands players, but the Vault Hunters themselves.
Something that I believe would make my Borderlands 3 experience better would be controlling a teenage character. Filled with angst and wanting to just get this hard work over with, I don’t think I’d ever get tired of hearing my character talking. As for high school archetypes, we could have the Goth who is dreary about the whole experience, the Jock who gets super pumped at driving fast and firing guns, the sassy post-apocalyptic enthusiast who wants to cut down her foes so long as none of the dismembered body parts get on her clothes, and that quiet kid who, when he speaks, makes you wonder if he’s sane enough to be trusted with saving the world.
Give me the witty humor that only a teenager can come up with and I will state that the game has gotten that more amazingly absurd.
